Authenticity is so important. It is one of those ingredients of life that can really make all the difference. Living authentically speaks to the freedom you can attain when you stop making choices to please other people and start looking for that acceptance within. Authenticity is more than just being yourself; it is a way of life that requires commitment and strength and yields beautiful rewards like confidence, peace, and joy.
What Does it Mean to Live Authentically?
Living in authenticity is something that, as adults, we need to make a concerted effort to do. It is programmed into us at an early age, despite our parents’ and caregivers’ best efforts, that love is, in fact, conditional.
Think about being a child. Maybe you played soccer or loved to paint. When you played an average game or your team lost, I’m sure your family still showed you affection and praise. If you painted a lovely portrait in art class, you were probably admired for it. But think about the reactions you got if you scored the winning goal or painted the prize-winning landscape. Different level of excitement altogether. Without realizing it, our parents, teachers, and coaches show us that certain actions and attitudes deserve more love than others. This is the beginning of living inauthentically.
Living authentically means being deeply in touch with yourself and just as connected to your motives. Living inauthentically means taking on opinions or performing actions for approval and recognition of others, even if it betrays your desires or truth. Someone who lives authentically might be able to voice their opinion in an important board meeting, even if it’s different from everyone else’s, and even if it might elicit judgment. Someone living inauthentically might keep their opinion to themselves to stay in favor with their coworkers and bosses, even if it chips away at their self-worth and morals. The more choices you make that align with your beliefs and your character, the better you’ll feel about yourself, even if it’s uncomfortable at first.
Why Does it Matter?
We all make decisions to please other people. Maybe you agreed to host a holiday when you didn’t want to because you didn’t want to seem difficult. Maybe you took a promotion that drains you because it impressed your parents and looks good on your resume. These are examples of inauthentic living. Socially, we are pressured to keep up this kind of behavior to fit in, to not rock the boat. We are afforded very few moments throughout the day to speak and act in a way that expresses exactly how we feel.
When you begin to make choices every day that reflect who you really are, the benefits unfold immediately. Some changes to look forward to when living authentically include:
- Being more mindful
- Engaging in more exciting, challenging activities
- Deeper sense of inner peace
- Feeling in line with your purpose
- Discovering a community of supportive, like-minded people
Because keeping the peace is often rewarded, many of us spend our adult lives in a muted reality. We put on a show—instead of telling others how we really feel, we lie and hide ourselves. Instead of making bold choices that will make us happy, we choose the easy or the predictable thing. This is self-betrayal. This is normal, but it isn’t ideal. And it doesn’t have to stay this way.
How to Get It
Making the decision to live authentically is easy. Changing how you interact with yourself and the world around you, that’s a little more challenging. One of the best things you can do for yourself when making a life-changing shift is to begin that journey with someone who’s done it already. Like any major change, beginning to live authentically will come with fear, discomfort, and confusion. You might not feel like you know where to begin. Luckily, there are people available to you who live to teach these skills. They have found the joy of authentic living and now relish the opportunity to pass it on to others.