If you’ve ever thought, “Why can’t I just do the thing?” 👉 this email is for you.
Most people assume change is about willpower.
But change is a process, and we tend to use the wrong tools for the stage we’re in.
Here’s the simplest way to understand it:
People move through stages of change when shifting a habit, healing a pattern, or creating a new life rhythm. The stages are common, normal, and predictable.
- Not Ready Yet (you’re not planning to change right now)
- Thinking About It (you’re torn—you want it, but you’re not sure)
- Getting Ready (you’re preparing, gathering support, making small moves)
- Taking Action (you’re actively doing it)
- Keeping It Going (you’re maintaining and making it sustainable)
👉 You don’t need more pressure. You need the right next step for your current stage.
Because when you try to force “Action” strategies (big plans, strict rules, all-or-nothing discipline) while you’re still in “Thinking About It,” you’ll feel stuck, frustrated, and like something is wrong with you.
👉 Nothing is wrong with you.
You’re just trying to climb a staircase by jumping to the fourth step.
👉 Quick self-check (30 seconds)
1. Pick one change you want right now – anything:
managing stress, exercising, setting boundaries, eating differently, saving money, reducing screen time, speaking up, leaving a draining situation.
2. Now finish this sentence honestly:
“Right now, I’m mostly in the stage of…”
☐ Not Ready Yet
☐ Thinking About It
☐ Getting Ready
☐ Taking Action
☐ Keeping It Going
That’s your starting point—not a label, not a life sentence, just a map.
In the next blog, I’ll walk you through the first stage and what actually helps when you’re not ready yet (without forcing it, shaming yourself, or pretending you are).