The Gift of Resistance
In our last conversation, we explored how breathing, pausing, and reconnecting with your heart can shift your inner state—and how that shift opens the door to calm and clarity.
Today, let’s take it one step deeper.
When you begin this inner work, you might notice something surprising: resistance.
Resistance arises in each of us when we feel triggered. Resistance shows up when we are being called to GROW.
Resistance can feel like a tight jaw, a sudden urge to check your phone, a knot in the stomach, procrastination, denial, anxiety or fear. Maybe even a subtle thought that whispers, “This isn’t working.”
That’s not failure. It’s information. Your body is simply showing you where old patterns and protective habits live.
Resistance is a somatic experience in our bodies that lets us know in some way we feel threatened. This feeling of being threatened can show up as fight, flight or freeze. This reaction is our way of trying to create safety. However, when we cultivate safety WITHIN ourselves, we begin the healing process.
So, this resistance we are feeling is our body communicating that there are old patterns, habits or beliefs that are not serving us and are not in alignment with who we truly are. This resistance is revealing the opportunity for growth and freedom. We do not need to fear or judge this resistance but to embrace it and get curious as to what it wants to show us.
I’ll give you a personal example of this: Friction and tension were growing between me and my son (a young adult in his 20s) who had moved back home temporarily while he went back to school. Because I had already been doing my own inner work, I recognized the resistance I was feeling in my body. I knew I needed to step back, pause and allow what I was feeling. I gave space to stop and got curious as to where these thoughts and feelings were coming from. I realized it was from an old pattern of thinking: “I was right, and he was wrong. I am the mom, and he is the child.” A pattern of thinking that was not true nor was it serving me and my relationship with my son. Because I chose to listen to the resistance I grew! And the relationship between me and my son profoundly shifted! I’m so thankful I chose to do the inner work, to listen to my inner wisdom and receive greater freedom.
Choosing new ways of thinking is creating new neural pathways. Think of neural pathways like grooves—they are our automatic and conditioned behaviors, thoughts and reactions in life. As we heal and grow, we create new grooves. These are new pathways for living as our True Self… As I did—I grew more into my true self and how I wanted to show up in my relationship with my son.
As I shared in my last email, the example of working a muscle for greater strength, building these new neural pathways of thinking will grow deeper by practicing the new (and true) ways of thinking, feeling and acting until it becomes our go-to response.
The newness takes time to not feel so uncomfortable. You may struggle to stay in the right “groove”, you might get pulled back to the old path, but ultimately you will come back to the grooves you have intentionally formed.
👉Here’s a simple way to meet that moment of resistance:
1. Notice
Gently scan your body. Where do you feel tension, tightness, pressure or restlessness? Name it without judging it.
2. Pause
Stay with the sensation for a few slow, deep breaths. No fixing, no forcing—just presence.
3. Allow
Imagine giving that sensation space to soften. Let it be there until it naturally shifts, even a little. Give patience and grace to what you are feeling.
This is the real practice of inner work: not fighting what arises but creating room for it to move through. With each round of Notice. Pause. Allow. the nervous system learns a new pathway to ease.
The next time you breathe and connect with your heart, watch for these signs of resistance. They aren’t roadblocks—they’re guideposts pointing you toward deeper calm and clarity.
Your body is wise. When you listen to your inner wisdom it shows you the way.
It brings me great joy to assist you in your journey. Please reach out to me if you want MORE. YOU DESERVE TO LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE!❤️