Perfectionism is exhausting. It refers to a way of all-or-nothing thinking that requires everything we say, do, and present to be without flaws. Perfectionism is the idea that we need to consistently reach certain (often unattainable) goals to be worthy of love and respect. While it might look like a positive thing on the outside, someone struggling with perfectionism is usually suffering greatly inside.
What Is Perfectionism?
Perfectionism does not equal achievement. The line between a high-achieving mindset and a perfectionist mindset is a thin one, but it’s clear. You might think that perfectionism keeps you motivated and accomplished, but it does the opposite. Someone who achieves great things stays realistic in their goal setting, while a perfectionist reaches for the stars, regardless of the circumstance. This type of goal setting only sets you up for failure and burnout.
For example, someone who is a high achiever might decide they want to become a distance runner. In doing so, they would consider their current physical state and how much time they can realistically dedicate to running each week. They might create a training plan that won’t exhaust or frustrate them, considering their other responsibilities and hobbies. They would forgive themselves for mistakes and not take the process too seriously while focusing on the benefits of the journey.
A perfectionist would approach this differently. They might decide to do a long and difficult race in a short amount of time because it will make them seem impressive, even though they aren’t a regular runner. They might beat themselves up for not reaching their unrealistic goals in their training schedule, and they would not give themselves a break when needed. They would be so focused on the outcome of the race that they would forget to enjoy the training or give themselves credit for trying.
Do you see the difference? Perfectionism comes from fear and insecurity. It leads to exhaustion and wears on your self-esteem. Perfectionism causes procrastination, avoidance, and anxiety. Many of us struggle with this mindset, but there is another way.
Releasing Perfectionism
Letting go of a perfectionist mindset isn’t easy, but it’s possible. When you rid yourself of the illusion of perfection, you free up all kinds of new ideas and energy that can lead you to do things you actually like in a way that makes you feel fulfilled and happy.
When you let go of the constraints of being perfect, you begin to accept yourself as you are—flaws and all. You can see yourself as a work in progress and take more joy in trying than in succeeding. You might gain the courage to try new things without worrying that you’ll fail and beat yourself up. You can learn mindfulness and be present, which helps you let your emotions guide your decisions, and you will see mistakes as opportunities. You’ll take yourself less seriously and feel much more joy. Perfectionism keeps you isolated; releasing it helps you connect to the rest of the world. It is a freedom everyone deserves.
Experience the Change
Choosing to let go of old habits is a process. It won’t happen overnight, but it will happen. When the journey feels overwhelming and confusing, try and remember the benefits that come with this change. These might include:
- Less stress and anxiety
- Better self-image
- Courage to try new things
- Higher levels of productivity
- Becoming more open to new people and opportunities
There are actions that you can take to begin unlearning perfectionism today. Start small and you can accomplish anything. What better way than with a certified life coach to start changing the way you see yourself? Life coaches are trained to understand the way your mind works and give you the tools you need to adjust to better, healthier habits. They can guide you along the way with proven methods that work.