There is one critical skill that can transform the way we lead and live: the ability to “hold space.”
What does it mean to hold space?
It’s more than just listening. It’s creating an environment of trust and openness where people (including yourself) can express themselves without fear of judgment. It’s about being present, acknowledging emotions, and allowing room for vulnerability—both in the workplace and in personal life. It is about creating a space where people can unload their minds and, in return, access their own wisdom. But to truly hold space, we also need to recognize the role of self-awareness, particularly concerning our own thoughts and judgments.
Before we can effectively hold space for others, we must be aware of the mental and emotional space we occupy ourselves. This means checking in with our own thoughts, assumptions, and judgments before entering a conversation. If we bring preconceived notions or unaddressed biases into the interaction, it can prevent us from truly being present and open. We need to clean up our thinking first.
Holding space requires us to pause, reflect, and clear our mental clutter. We often carry the weight of our own internal dialogue—whether that’s doubts, frustrations, or judgments—into conversations, and this can interfere with the way we engage. By becoming aware of these thoughts and setting them aside, we create more room for others to feel heard and understood.
Alongside self-awareness, we have the powerful resources of intuition and inner wisdom. As leaders, we sometimes rely heavily on logic, but our inner guidance can reveal truths that aren’t immediately obvious. Intuition helps us navigate the subtleties of difficult conversations and makes us more attuned to the unspoken needs of others.
This skill has truly transformed how I engage in almost all of my conversations, both at work and in my personal life. As a leader, with this awareness and intention to hold space, engaging in one-on-one meetings with direct reports or subordinates has proven to be very powerful. Deciding before the conversation starts on how I want to show up and using these points to guide me has allowed for authentic connection, greater trust, and the freedom to share ideas and collaborate..
Here’s how you can practice holding space:
1. Acknowledge your own judgments.
Before engaging in a conversation, take a moment to reflect on any biases, judgments, or assumptions you may have. Ask yourself, “Am I entering this conversation with an open mind?” This self-check creates room for you to be fully present and listen without an agenda.
2. Trust your inner knowing.
When holding space, trust that your intuition will guide you toward what matters. You may sense emotions or concerns beneath the surface that haven’t been expressed. Tuning into your inner wisdom allows you to ask the right questions, giving others permission to share more deeply.
3. Create intentional moments for connection.
As you step into conversations, let go of the need to control the outcome. Intentionally create space where others can express themselves freely, without feeling the pressure to solve problems right away. This opens the door to authentic dialogue and builds stronger relationships.
4. Balance logic with inner guidance.
As leaders, we’re often tasked with making decisions based on data and logic. But remember, there’s also immense value in leaning into your intuition when holding space. By doing so, you can create a balance between practical decision-making and the human, emotional side of leadership. Use both to navigate challenges with grace.
5. Embrace vulnerability.
Vulnerability isn’t just for others—it’s for you too. When you hold space, be open to sharing your own challenges or uncertainties when appropriate. This deepens trust and fosters a sense of shared humanity. Your willingness to be vulnerable invites others to do the same.
Holding space requires you to clear your own internal space, tap into your intuition, and lead from a place of non-judgment. By doing so, you empower those around you to bring their full selves to the table.
Incorporating self-awareness, intuition, and inner wisdom into your leadership will strengthen your ability to hold space and enhance your impact as a compassionate, effective leader.